From the outside, sorority houses appear as picturesque havens of sisterhood complete with matching t-shirts, perfectly choreographed recruitment chants, and an air of exclusive belonging. Yet behind these carefully curated traditions lies a more complex social ecosystem than what meets the eye.
College marks the first time many young women build community away from their childhood homes, and sororities offer a ready-made family structure during this pivotal transition. What emerged from my conversations with seven women—two current members and five alumnae —was neither the pink Champagne-soaked stereotype of Legally Blonde nor the sinister hazing narratives of investigative exposés. Instead, these women revealed something far richer: sorority life as an intentional community that, at its best, creates bonds that last a lifetime.
Secret Soror Society Origins
Sororities began as secret societies when women first entered higher education in the late 19th century, at a time when pursuing higher learning as a woman was itself a revolutionary act. Harvard, established in 1836, didn't award undergraduate degrees to women until 1963, and it wasn't until 1981 that women earned 50% of all undergraduate degrees nationwide.
Within this challenging landscape, enterprising female students watched their male counterparts gathering in fraternal organizations and decided to create their own communities of support. Alpha Delta Pi became the first secret society for women in 1851, with Phi Mu following in 1852. Kappa Alpha Theta emerged as the first organization established as a Greek-letter women's fraternity in 1870, and in 1882, Gamma Phi Beta became the first group to call themselves a "sorority."
Initially formed to provide support and solidarity in what was predominantly a man's world, these organizations gave women spaces to develop leadership skills, foster intellectual growth, and forge lifelong connections in environments that often viewed their very presence with skepticism.
Today's sororities carry forward this legacy while evolving with the times. They continue to offer what those early sisterhoods recognized was essential: a place to belong, a network of support, and a community in which to flourish.
The Journey to Sisterhood
"I was initially drawn to Alpha Delta Pi because of the genuine connections I felt during recruitment. The girls were authentically themselves and were some of the kindest people I've ever met," says Grace, a current ADPi member at Westchester. For her, joining was "one of the best decisions I've ever made."
But finding your sorority home often begins with a leap of faith, especially for those who never imagined themselves as "sorority material."
"It's so funny, as my friends now are like, that is so off brand for you," recalls Allie, who served as president of Alpha Epsilon Phi at the University of Maryland before graduating in 2009. "I really just got convinced by not only my friends, but everyone. I mean, everyone that I knew in my dorms was joining a sorority."
Meaghan, who led Gamma Phi Beta at Boston University until her 2008 graduation, found the experience filled a void she didn't realize she had. "In high school, I was an athlete. I was captain of our track team, which had about 100 girls, and I played soccer all four years. So I think that team dynamic and camaraderie were things I had been missing, and I started to see that in recruitment."
Sarah (name changed), who joined Gamma Phi Beta at Northwestern, embodies this initial hesitation. "I would say I'm not a traditional sorority girl. I didn't think that I would be that excited about it, but at Northwestern, Greek life was really big, like almost 50% of the student body participated...I was kind of the hesitant sorority sister."
For these women, the recruitment process became the surprising first chapter of a transformative experience.
"It was very structured and formal," explains Georgie, who joined Alpha Delta at the University at Buffalo to "diversify her network." "Each sorority was in a different room, and we rotated through, meeting members and learning about their values and culture. Then there was a matching process in which we ranked our preferred sororities, and they ranked their preferred potential members. So in a way, it was like a mix of job interviews and speed dating for friends, or maybe even like Bumble, but for finding a sisterhood."
For many women, the central question becomes finding the "right fit,” a chapter whose values align with their own.
"I wanted to join a national sorority because I wasn't in it for the party scene. I wanted a broader network," Georgie explains. "Shared values were also really important to me. Since we had a dry campus, I wanted a sorority that respected that, rather than one that would try to skirt the rules. I also wanted to be surrounded by people who cared about academics."
As Meaghan advises potential members, "Be yourself. Don't try to be what you think they want. Your sorority should feel like home."
From Strangers to Sisters
The transformation from strangers to sisters doesn't happen overnight. It grows through shared experiences, traditions, and the deliberate creation of family-like structures within the organization.
The "big sister/little sister" dynamic emerged as particularly meaningful in my interviews. "My big sister was someone who really got me and made me feel included from the start," says Meaghan.
Georgie describes how these family lines created smaller circles of belonging. "You were matched into a family tree. You'd have a big and a little as you progressed through the sorority. Your big was kind of like a mentor or big sister. They'd help you get settled, tell you what you need to know. Your family line always went places together, and within the larger sorority, it gave you a smaller group to really connect with."
For many, the sorority house itself becomes a home away from home. "I loved waking up in the morning after a night all out together and eating breakfast in the sorority dining room," Allie recalls fondly. "That morning-after debrief. That was just the best, even if everyone didn't do the same thing. It was like hearing about what everyone else did and sharing stories, just laughing so much."
Purpose Beyond Parties
While social events certainly play a role in sorority life, the philanthropic mission of these organizations often creates the most meaningful bonds.
For Meaghan, this aspect created an immediate connection. "The Boston University Delta chapter did a lot of work with the Special Olympics, and that was really meaningful to me. I had done a lot of work with the Special Olympics in high school because my cousin, who's more like a brother to me, has severe physical and mental challenges. So that kind of work was close to my heart. Seeing Gamma Phi involved in that, along with the fact that the girls felt like people I could relate to, made it feel like the right fit."
Current member, Delilah, highlights her Sigma Delta Tau chapter's involvement with THON at Penn State, which raises money for children and families impacted by childhood cancer. "This has made such an impact on me because it has allowed me to partake in such an amazing cause and has shown me how fortunate I am."
Even Sarah, who approached Greek life with some skepticism, acknowledges the authentic charitable work. "I do feel that philanthropy was clearly communicated through giving or volunteering as a core value and it didn't feel fake... I felt like there was a council that was focused on philanthropy that had leaders who were passionate and excited about the space."
For Grace, her sorority's philanthropic efforts created profound connections. "ADPi supports the Ronald McDonald House Charity. We host many events, and all earnings go straight to our closest Ronald McDonald House. We often get to visit and help out, which has really impacted me. Seeing the families there and putting a smile on their faces when we show up with dinner or a craft, is something I will never forget."
Bonds That Last
The truest test of sorority sisterhood comes after graduation, when the structured environment of college fades away. For many women, the selective bonds formed during those formative years grow even stronger with time.
"I don't talk to 90% of the people from the sorority," Allie admits. "But I have three or four dear friends from the sorority who are still dear friends to this day. I know that if I ever needed them for something, they'd be there. We don't speak, they're not part of my social life, but I still feel connected to them."
Meaghan describes these lasting relationships as comfortable but not constant: "It's like a good friendship. You might not talk every day, but when you do, you pick up right where you left off."
Sometimes, these sorority bonds manifest in extraordinary ways years later. Take the viral story of Jess Hause and Megan Schultz, sorority sisters who remained friends for 18 years after college. When Hause was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease and needed a transplant, Schultz stepped forward as a donor. In a TikTok video that garnered nearly a million views, Schultz surprised Hause with the news that she was a match.
"I'm speechless of her courage, strength, selflessness & pure heart," Hause wrote. "She is forever my hero...She is saving my life and I am forever grateful."
While not every sorority friendship results in organ donation, the foundation of mutual support established during these formative years often persists in meaningful ways. Georgie describes her national sorority network as "kind of like LinkedIn, but more personal" where sisters reach out with questions like "Hey, I'm applying to this job, I see you're in California, do you have any advice?" She values how it "makes the world feel a little smaller and warmer."
For many alumnae, leadership roles within their sororities became springboards for professional success. Meaghan, who became president of 120 women at only 20 years old, said "Looking back, I realize those experiences taught me skills I still use today—building relationships with people I might not have initially thought I'd work well with, learning to problem-solve with those who see things differently."
Advice for the Next Gen
As these seven women look back on their sorority experiences from vantage points spanning from current undergraduate life to fifteen years post-graduation, their advice to potential new members centers on authenticity and intention.
"Think long-term," suggests Georgie. "It's easy to just join the sorority your friend is in, but I think it helps to be clear on why you're joining. Are you looking for friends because you're in a new town? Do you want a network for jobs and career connections? Figuring that out first helps you pick the right sorority."
"Listen to your gut," advises Sarah. "Approach it with the lens of curiosity and don't be afraid to lean into it or lean out of it based on what you learn."
"Be yourself," emphasizes Meaghan. "Your sorority should feel like home."
"Don't compromise your values or who you are," cautions Ashley.
Allie offers perhaps the most balanced perspective: "Any organization has the potential to foster groupthink. If you're going to join, take advantage of all the great things—social connections, networking, the structured calendar—but don't lose yourself in it. Just like in a regular family, not everyone has to have the same opinion, and you can still be part of the same group. So stay true to who you are, even though you're joining something that has its own brand and identity."
What emerges from these conversations is that sorority life offers something rare in our increasingly disconnected world: an intentional community designed to support young women through one of life's most significant transitions. While not perfect (and let’s be honest, what family is?) these sisterhoods create spaces where bonds form that can last a lifetime, values are put into action through philanthropy, and young women develop leadership skills that serve them far beyond college.
In an age when authentic connection feels increasingly elusive, these sisterhoods stand as beacons of what's possible when women come together with purpose including lifelong friendships forged in shared values; leadership cultivated through real-world challenges; and a support network that can literally save lives. After thriving for over a century, sororities continue to offer what we all seek: a place to belong, grow, and become our best selves, together.
